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“I’m fine.” Are you fine? Am I fine? I realized that after a decade of hearing that answer from you, I started giving the same one. I was not fine and neither were you, but I had to be. I was taking care of you, was taking care of our daughter, of our home, working full time, doing everything and anything to stay afloat, but who was taking care of me? Does anyone care how I’m doing? Do you even see me anymore? Does anyone realize how hard it is for us? We are the ones that may not work in corrections, but that were being held captive by the job. We are the family members of corrections staff. I watched you, an officer for 18 years, slowly become a person that was unrecognizable to me physically, emotionally, and mentally. You put the job before me, our family, and the life we were supposed to be building together. I [...]

One of the first things I learned in the academy was to “leave it at the door.” That was almost 19 years ago, and I never realized the damage five words could do. When I began telling people that I was going into corrections, I heard a lot of negative comments. A few rubbed me the wrong because they basically assumed I couldn’t do the job. I used the negativity and just tried to do my best. Once out of the academy, I became a master of leaving everything at the door. Whatever happened that day, good, bad or indifferent, I left it at the door. I had no clue the damage I was doing to my own mental health. I slowly was becoming a different person. I didn’t see it, and I never allowed anyone close enough to tell me otherwise. I had a string of bad relationships that I would simply end when the other person got [...]

I attended Desert Waters’ instructor course for CF2F in 2014.The following spring, we taught everyone in our division the materials we learned. It was a very positive experience with tons of very positive feedback. The follow up was easier said than done. I have committed myself to maintaining my mission of taking care of my team with the focus on their wellness. During that process, I have had some rough times of my own, and my own mental health and outlook declined. I went through a divorce; I didn’t get chosen for promotion; I bumped heads with my supervisor severely; and I had a string of critical incidents in a very short period of time. When things with my supervisor began causing me to have disturbing dreams, I sought therapy. This helped me quite a bit to reframe my way of thinking about things. Shortly after “graduating from therapy,” I had an inmate “die on me. ” I was doing CPR when “it was called.” I didn’t [...]

When you experience what to you is a verbal attack on your person, instead of verbally attacking that person back, consider the following alternative options, with your goal being the de-escalation of the situation. Such an approach will help protect your well-being and your resilience by preventing or lessening the inevitable wear-and-tear physically and emotionally that result from angry outbursts and a hostile stance. This is an example of using what are often called “soft skills”—but that are in reality skills of steel, because they can help us regain control of situations and prevail, while also preserving our health and perhaps our relationships. Step back mentally and try to assess if you were truly attacked, or if you are being overly sensitive and taking the other person’s behavior personally more than warranted. Step back mentally and try to assess if you were truly attacked, or if you are being overly sensitive and taking the other person’s behavior personally more [...]

A lieutenant who is respectful and available to listen and answer questions from staff. A captain who helps subordinates secure training that enhances their skill sets. A correctional officer who acts in ways that are fair, firm and consistent with both incarcerated persons and coworkers, and who informally mentors new officers, answering questions and offering encouragement. A warden who takes well-thought out steps to shape the facility’s culture for the benefit of both employees and those incarcerated.1 A retired director who volunteers to set up and run a program that improves the character development of both staff and the incarcerated. These are examples of servant leadership. And because much is being discussed today about improving employee retention rates in criminal justice professions, I would humbly like to offer the suggestion that servant leadership is one style of leadership that could be almost guaranteed to help increase employee retention. In correctional environments, servant leaders would first and foremost be known [...]

Professional athletes and personal trainers are well-acquainted with the fact that for best physical performance, muscles need down time in between workouts —recovery time, in order to repair themselves. Depending on the type and intensity of the workout, recovery time may be only 24 hours or two or more days—up to a week. Rest days are essential, non-negotiable, if performance is to stay at a high level or improve. Insisting on pushing through, continuing to work out without recovery time, will result in diminishing returns and eventual damage to the body. Recovery time is based on the principle that the body cannot sustain being indefinitely “on.” Being “on” needs to alternate with being “off,” otherwise health is undermined by the relentless experience of the “on” stress response. An example of that is the heart muscle, which cannot only be contracting in order to pump blood throughout the body; it also needs to relax. Our heartbeat exemplifies that beautifully. Systole [...]

What can help us hang on and keep going, persevering in the face of obstacles, opposition or failure? In other words, what can help us remain resilient? It can be argued, and it has been my experience, that, to a large degree, the battle for resilience takes place in the mind. One of the simplest yet perhaps most effective resilience boosters is finding the proverbial silver lining in the clouds, thinking of potential benefits for ourselves or others that can result from whatever is causing us grief at this moment. An example that comes to mind is that of a man who was waylaid by a serious sickness and had his whole career come to a halt. Instead of giving into angry and depressive thoughts, he decided that he was being afforded time to step away from the rat race and get off the relentless conveyor belt that kept him busy all day long in ways that did not [...]

Stress has been described as the outcome of demands exceeding available resources. This statement captures the biggest challenge facing correctional agencies today. Due to conditions outside of their control, correctional agencies may have been operating for years under the motto of “doing more with less.” What is problematic about this approach? To put it simply, “doing more with less” is unsustainable, resulting in staff malfunctioning and agency malfunctioning. If resources are insufficient for shoring up burdens, and conditions continue unabated, whole systems eventually buckle under the excess weight. As one sergeant sarcastically told me, “Doing more with less is doing less with less.” Outcomes of such malfunctioning at work are many. Individually, chronic stress and partial chronic sleep deprivation caused by mandatory overtime disrupt brain functioning, and decimate health and wellness. Operationally, policies are not followed; mistakes are made; accidents happen; angry outbursts and other inflammatory reactions replace de-escalating responses; unprofessional conduct abounds; lawsuits ensue. Consequences of Corrections Fatigue [...]

Resilience—bouncing back, and at times even springing forward, after encountering adversity—requires courage, energy, and endurance. By definition, adversity saps our emotional strength, as it takes effort to wrestle with difficulties. Adversity can drain our energy tank through a negative mindset, when we selectively focus on difficult problems, on what is not going well. Discouragement follows, as we come to believe that we are “stuck” in a hard place, and that our efforts or others’ efforts to help us won’t make a difference for the better. To be resilient we need to rebuild our strength and regain hope by countering negativity. A powerful, “tried-and-true,” “money-back-guaranteed” way to do so, is the habit of being grateful. Gratitude has been shown to help improve health and the sense of well-being, and to elevate our mood and improve our perspective. Gratitude activates areas of the brain associated with relief from stress, and is associated with the release of “feel good” chemicals, such as [...]