Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is essential for building a fulfilling and sustainable career in the high-stress world of corrections. EQ involves the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as effectively navigate interactions with others—skills that directly influence our well-being and workplace relationships. Far from being “soft,” emotional intelligence is a powerful set of competencies that shape the work environment and organizational culture. In high-stakes situations, EQ can make the difference between de-escalation and peaceful resolution—or injuries, policy violations, litigation, and even loss of life.

In this article, I briefly explore the nature of emotions, the benefits of learning to regulate them, methods for processing emotional distress, and how to “apply the brakes” when we feel like we’re about to lose control.

You, dear reader, may not be experiencing challenges with emotional regulation. However, the data show that many working in the intense, high-stress environments of corrections and other public safety roles do struggle emotionally—at least from time to time. If this article doesn’t speak to your personal experience, I invite you to keep reading anyway. You might find it useful in supporting a colleague who is having a difficult time, maybe simply by sharing it with them.

Your Hidden Weapon: Emotions

If you work in a security/custody or other public safety role, you may have to qualify with your firearm annually. That’s necessary and good. But have you ever considered that you carry a different kind of weapon with you every day—one that often goes unnoticed until it “fires?”

That hidden yet powerful weapon is your emotions. Like any weapon, it can be used skillfully or recklessly. When well-managed, emotions can help de-escalate situations, deter harm, and protect relationships. But when mismanaged, they can inflict serious—and sometimes irreparable—damage to your career, your agency, and even your health and those you care about most.

Emotional Misfires

Consider how often you’ve had to use your firearm in the line of duty. For most, the answer is “rarely.” Now compare that to how often you find yourself in tense verbal exchanges—with incarcerated individuals, probationers, parolees, coworkers, members of the public, or family members. These emotionally charged encounters happen daily, and if not handled with skill, they can quickly spiral into conflict.

Yet despite the risks of emotional “misfiring,” corrections and other public safety professionals often invest little deliberate effort into managing this powerful weapon with the same discipline they bring to physical tools of the trade.

Emotional Shutdown

For some, the issue may not be inappropriate firing of emotions. Rather, it may be having a firearm that is jammed—not firing at all or requiring substantial effort to clear the obstruction and fire. In that case, people are experiencing emotional numbness. They may think, “My emotions don’t get the best of me—I’m fine.” Or even, “I don’t feel anything at all. I’m shut down.”

That emotional numbness is a malfunction and a warning sign. It can signal conditions like post-traumatic stress or depression. Emotional numbness might be like an earthquake rumbling deep underground—it may be happening, even if it hasn’t surfaced yet. Even if it doesn’t, it still robs people of their quality of life, because part of being alive involves being able to feel. Emotional numbness is like losing your sense of smell or taste—you can eat, but you can no longer enjoy the meal.

Emotional Mastery as a Professional Asset

What if some of the tense exchanges you face could be avoided—or at least de-escalated? What if you could reclaim your ability to fully experience your emotions safely, and be present in the moment? Better yet, what if you could harness those emotions to create more positive outcomes in high-stress situations?

That’s where emotional intelligence comes in.

Understanding and skillfully managing emotions—both your own and others’—gives you a powerful advantage. It contributes to a safer, more secure workplace by improving your ability to problem-solve and de-escalate effectively. It also lowers stress and helps build more cooperative relationships.

Being emotionally literate means knowing how to identify your emotions, regulate their intensity (like turning the volume down on the radio), and also help others calm down. In this way, “qualifying with your emotions” is just as important as qualifying with your service weapon. It can help prevent excessive use of force, retaliation, emotional shutdown after failure, and avoidance of necessary confrontation.

Emotional Processing: Clearing the Backlog

Qualifying with your emotions starts with becoming aware of your internal experience—your feelings, thoughts, urges, and motives. Developing emotional awareness and regulation also takes courage: the willingness to sit with discomfort and, at times, revisit painful memories in order to heal and grow. Equally essential is the ability to be vulnerable with trusted individuals and open to their honest feedback about your demeanor and your behavior.

Working with a skilled therapist can be invaluable in this process. They can help you learn the basics—accurately identifying emotions and managing them through a range of effective strategies.

One of the most powerful ways to manage emotions is through emotional processing—the act of understanding and integrating stressful experiences so they don’t keep causing emotional pain.

Difficulty in identifying, processing, and expressing one’s own emotions is associated with physical symptoms like gastro-intestinal distress, low-back pain, fatigue, headaches, and also with anxiety disorders and depressive disorders.1,2

Processing helps convert distressing events into “digested” and “filed” memories—ones that no longer “hijack” your nervous system. This can be done in a number of different ways, such as through making time to be alone and “listen” to what you’re feeling and thinking. Such inner “listening” can be accomplished through writing, drawing, painting, listening to music, taking a long walk or a long drive, or talking to someone who is a good and caring listener. Research, for example, shows that expressive writing—writing down how you feel and why—can reduce health problems, anxiety, depression, and even improve immune function and academic performance. Writing for just 15–30 minutes can make a difference.3 If writing or drawing isn’t your style, engaging in intense physical activity—like a tough workout—might help you connect with your emotions through your body. Paying attention to how different body parts feel or act may act as a doorway to increased awareness of what emotions you are experiencing. Think of your jaw clenching, stomach muscles tightening, your heart racing.

Emotional Outbursts and Emotional Brakes

Emotional outbursts are like driving a vehicle with faulty brakes—you can’t slow down, steer properly, or stop when needed. Emotional regulation can help repair those brakes, giving you control to navigate safely. It also provides “off-ramps” that let you exit the emotional danger zone, giving you space to “cool down,” reflect on the situation, “get a grip” and consider your options—so you can make a rational decision you’re less likely to regret.

Unregulated emotion is a sign that you’ve lost control of the steering wheel. To regain it, the rising intensity of an emotional outburst must be brought under the guidance of conscious choice. In contrast, overcoming emotional numbing requires a different kind of work: slowly peeling back protective layers and relearning how to feel—safely and intentionally.

Emotional Avoidance in Corrections and Other Public Safety Cultures

In corrections and other public safety cultures there’s a dominant culture of toughness—one that values appearing unshaken, as if nothing rattles you. Many staff members try to block or deny painful emotions to avoid appearing weak. This leads to coping through high-adrenaline activities or substances like alcohol to suppress the stress.

But emotional suppression doesn’t make frustration or heartache evaporate. They simply pack, stack, and leak. The result? Irritability, explosive anger, sleep problems, emotional withdrawal, and, often, substance misuse.

Even events that almost happened—near misses—can leave lasting emotional residue. These incidents affect staff deeply, even if no one was harmed. Without processing, these emotional injuries fester.

Why Emotional Processing Matters

Emotional processing offers an infinitely healthier alternative to white-knuckling it or stuffing it.

Processing is like transforming milk into cheese. It’s a deliberate act that requires specific “ingredients”—such as conditions, time, and effort. Psychologist S. Rachman defines it as “a process whereby emotional disturbances are absorbed and decline to the extent that other experiences and behavior can proceed without disruption.”4

A Step-by-Step Example

Here’s one way to process a stressful event:

  1. Review what happened. Write or talk about it:
  • Not just to vent
  • Not to blame
  • To reflect on it in order to grasp what took place
  1. Assess the impact. Ask yourself how did the event affect you:
  • Physically
  • Emotionally
  • Relationally
  • In your beliefs, basic assumptions, or expectations
  1. Interpret the event. Ask yourself how you perceived what happened:
  • What feels threatened here—my physical safety, job, reputation, health, relationships, financial security, or ….?
  • Is the threat real or imagined?
  • Am I taking things too personally?
  1. Reframe and learn. Ask yourself:
  • Am I reacting based on heated emotion or logic?
  • What’s the wisest course of action that aligns with my values and who I strive to be as a professional and as a person?
  • Is there anything I need to own or make right?
  • What can I learn from this situation?
  • Where might I adjust my expectations or behavior?

Sometimes, events are so distressing that you may need the help of a professional counselor or spiritual advisor to process them fully. You can also consider going through these steps with a trusted loved one.

Anger and Health: A Price Too High

It’s natural to feel angry or defensive when we’re insulted, exploited, or disrespected. But reacting with “fire for fire” can cause major damage—to your relationships, your health, and your peace of mind.

Habitual “fight” reactions activate the body’s stress response, which over time can contribute to cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal issues, skin conditions, respiratory problems, and sleep disturbances plus all the problems associated with insufficient or poor-quality sleep. Alarmingly, research shows that the risk of heart attack increases nearly fivefold, and the risk of stroke more than triples within two hours of an anger outburst.5

The Bottom Line: Emotional Regulation Takes Work

Regulating emotions comes down to a four-letter word: W-O-R-K. WORK, as in practice. But with practice, it becomes easier and more rewarding. You won’t get it perfect every time, but you will make progress.

So, remember: Each time you choose to manage your emotions skillfully, you move toward better health, stronger relationships, and a more satisfying career.

REFERENCES

  1. Nakao, M., & Takeuchi, T. (2018). Alexithymia and Somatosensory Amplification Link Perceived Psychosocial Stress and Somatic Symptoms in Outpatients with Psychosomatic Illness. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 7(5), 112. https://doi.org/10.3390/jcm7050112
  2. Lanzara, R., Conti, C., Camelio, M., Cannizzaro, P., Lalli, V., Bellomo, R. G., Saggini, R., & Porcelli, P. (2020). Alexithymia and somatization in chronic pain patients: A sequential mediation model. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 545881. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.545881
  3. Niles, A. N., Haltom, K. E., Mulvenna, C. M., Lieberman, M. D., & Stanton, A. L. (2014). Randomized controlled trial of expressive writing for psychological and physical health: the moderating role of emotional expressivity. Anxiety, stress, and coping, 27(1), 1–17. https://doi.org/10.1080/10615806.2013.802308
  4. Rachman, S. (2001). Emotional processing, with special reference to post-traumatic stress disorders. International Review of Psychiatry, 13, 164–171.
  5. Mostofsky, E., Penner, E. A., & Mittleman, M. A. (2014). Outbursts of anger as a trigger of acute cardiovascular events: a systematic review and meta-analysis. European Heart Journal, 35(21), 1404–1410. https://doi.org/10.1093/eurheartj/ehu033

Editor’s Notes:

  1. Many thanks to Joe Zonno, PhD, for his thoughtful editing and valuable contributions and insights, which helped strengthen this article.
  1. The following article presents two accounts written by staff, sharing their experiences with emotional dysregulation—specifically, anger outbursts and emotional numbing.